A Tale of Two Sisters: The Love/Hate Relationship of Tilly & Apopse
- Aug 17
- 5 min read
There is an old saying that opposites attract, but in the cat world, “opposites” usually means a tentatively negotiated, lifelong peace agreement.
If you take a look at my two cats today, you’ll see a typical sisterly relationship. There’s Tilly, my vocal calico queen who believes the universe should revolve around her, and Apopse, my chaotic black cat who somehow functions with zero spatial awareness.
Their relationship isn’t the perfect bond of endless mutual grooming and peaceful purring. It’s been a fairly dramatic process that has taken years to settle into what it is today.
To understand how they coexist now, you have to go back to the beginning, when a tiny black kitten arrived and completely changed Tilly’s routine.
Arrival of Apopse
Apopse joined our home at around 9 or 10 weeks old. To give her somewhere safe to settle in, and to keep the peace, I set up a large pop-up fabric pen in my bedroom for her to sleep in.
For the first week, Tilly was kept at a distance. She loudly vocalised her confusion about why the room she had always had access to was suddenly off limits. I was constantly splitting my time between the new arrival and the established queen of the house.
Then, at the start of the second week, it was time for the first introduction through the mesh screen.
Tilly approached cautiously. She walked up to the pen, leaned in for a slow sniff and immediately gave a sharp hiss. Her message was fairly clear: she was not impressed.
Apopse, however, didn’t seem particularly concerned. She completely ignored Tilly’s death stare and immediately started pawing at the mesh and squeaking, apparently desperate to make friends with the much larger cat on the other side.
For the following week, we had daily supervised meetings through the mesh. I gave Tilly her favourite treats and plenty of reassurance, trying to create a positive association with the kitten.
Tilly seemed to tolerate the arrangement, although I suspect the food had more to do with it than anything else. By the end of week two, things were looking promising.
Week three arrived, and it was time for their first face-to-face meeting outside the pen.
All the careful introductions and treat-bribing went out of the window almost immediately. The second the pen opened, baby Apopse didn’t walk over for a gentle nose-touch or approach cautiously.
She launched herself into the air and landed directly on Tilly’s head.
That pretty much set the tone for their relationship.
Tilly was horrified. Apopse seemed delighted. From that point onwards, Tilly had to accept that this tiny kitten was going to be a permanent part of her life.
As week four rolled around, Apopse was about 13 to 14 weeks old, and the two of them had moved past the initial uncertainty and into regular wrestling matches.
Apopse was a fraction of Tilly’s size, but she had no hesitation about throwing herself at her. She would launch herself at Tilly and wrap her tiny front paws around Tilly’s neck.
Tilly, for her part, seemed determined to teach the kitten a few lessons. The hallway became their favourite place to wrestle. They would roll across the floor, swapping bunny kicks, paw swipes and the occasional dramatic takedown.
Tilly could easily pin the smaller kitten down, only for Apopse to wriggle free a moment later and immediately start again.
Then there was the cardboard box.
A simple delivery box left on the floor quickly became one of their favourite places to play. Tilly would climb inside and settle down, apparently considering it hers.
Apopse saw things differently.
She would flop onto her back, slide across the floor and circle around the box before eventually diving inside. Tilly would respond with a few well-timed swats whenever a black paw appeared around the edge.
Sometimes Apopse would retreat, only to come back a few seconds later and try again.
Despite all the wrestling, chasing and swatting, there were always signs that they were becoming attached to each other.
After a particularly energetic session, the box would eventually become somewhere to sleep. Apopse would squeeze herself inside and lie across Tilly’s back.
Instead of fighting, she would start gently licking Tilly’s ears. Tilly, who had been swatting at her only minutes earlier, would close her eyes and let her stay there.
That was probably the point when it became clear they were getting along.
As Apopse grew out of the kitten stage and into her teenage and adult years, their relationship didn’t really change. The wrestling became less frequent, but their basic personalities stayed exactly the same.
The main problem is simple: Tilly likes her personal space, and Apopse has very little understanding of the concept.
Tilly can walk into a room minding her own business, and within seconds Apopse will be right beside her. She’ll rub against her, circle around her and stick her bum straight into Tilly’s face without a hint of embarrassment.
Tilly has about a ten-second tolerance level.
First comes the low warning growl, which Apopse usually ignores.
Then comes the hiss.
Rather than moving away, Apopse will often lower herself towards the ground and shuffle even closer.
Eventually Tilly gives up trying to communicate politely and delivers a solid smack to Apopse’s head, as if to say, “Will you just bloody get out of my face?!”
At that point, Apopse usually has one of two reactions. She either sits there and refuses to move, or she decides it’s time to start wrestling.
Tilly’s response depends on where they are. If there’s somewhere nearby to escape to, she’ll usually jump onto the sofa, the bed or the kitchen counter and watch Apopse from a safe distance.
If she’s cornered, or simply doesn’t feel like moving, she’ll deal with it herself. She’ll take Apopse down, pin her to the floor and give her a few bunny kicks until she decides she’s had enough.
Even now, despite Apopse being bigger and heavier than Tilly, the basic hierarchy hasn’t changed. Tilly may be the smaller cat these days, but she still seems to believe she’s in charge.
And, judging by how quickly Apopse backs down after one particularly convincing smack, she may actually be right.
Nowadays, most of their daily squabbling happens around feeding time.
In the few minutes between their bowls being placed on the countertop and the food actually being dished up, the kitchen can get surprisingly dramatic. Tilly will sit patiently on the floor, waiting for her dinner, only for Apopse to pull her usual trick of sticking her face directly into Tilly’s.
Tilly immediately hisses and gives her a quick bop on the head. Apopse responds with a few bops of her own, and within seconds they’re both flailing their paws at each other, accompanied by plenty of low growls and hisses.
The standoff usually continues until I have to shout, “Ladies! Knock it off!” At that point, they pause, remember that food is about to be served, and suddenly have more important things to think about.
Looking at them now, this is pretty much what their relationship has become. There are still plenty of arguments over personal space, the occasional wrestling match, and regular reminders from Tilly that Apopse is getting too close.
There are quieter moments too. They’ll sleep in the same room, settle into their favourite spots and occasionally choose to lie near each other. They’re not usually curled up together, but they’re comfortable sharing the same space.
Their relationship was never going to be particularly peaceful. It started with a tiny black kitten launching herself directly onto the queen’s head, and neither of them has really changed that much since.
They still bicker, wrestle and test each other’s patience. Apopse still ignores most of Tilly’s warnings, and Tilly still eventually loses patience with her.
But underneath all of that, they’ve grown into a pair of cats who are clearly used to having each other around. They know each other’s habits, they know each other’s boundaries—well, Tilly knows the boundaries, at least—and they’ve found their own way of getting along.
They’re sisters. They annoy each other, they look out for each other, and somehow, after all these years, it works.
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